Secret Seasons of my Mind

My mind fluctuates like the weather.
I'm always trying to find, a way to put the puzzle pieces together.
At times, my thoughts are sunny, my cheeks red like delicate roses,
my words, sappy and sweet like honey.
But ominous clouds are cast, and slapping beads of rain come fast.
It feels like I'm sitting alone, chained to the bottom of a mountain.
Down I'm counting, waiting for the end to come.
Pushing my problems to the back of my mind, to them, I wish to remain numb.
But they only snowball, and into a quiet hole of solitude, I wish to crawl.
I push the tears to the back of my head, and hope people are mislead.
I am plagued by a heavy feeling, that engulfs my entire being.
I drown in an ocean of insecurities, and slowly sink in quick sand not seeing,
a way to escape myself.
It's winter in my soul, and in my bed, I'm left to toss, and my thoughts to dole.
Into the playground that is my head, until my pulse stops, and I drop dead.
When will I be free, from the prison that is my mind?
Untouchable seems the key, for I have yet to define,
what to do, where to go, where happiness I will find.
If ignorance is bliss, then my truth, I shall dismiss,
into the never ending abyss, leaving nothing but memories,
to one day reminisce.